Know Your Stars FMA
by AnnaMay-Nutt
Summary: I was browsing around here and I saw a lot of this type of fic so I thought, Hey, I don't see any FMA ones, so why not create my own? Hope you find this story funny! 8D Chapter 7 is here! XD
1. Ed

Know your stars, know your stars, know your stars, know your stars…….

Ed: sits down on stool

Voice: Edward Elric…….Is a shortie!

Ed: WHO ARE YOU CALLIN' SMALL YOU $&$#$&$&$!

Voice: Edward Elric……makes out with Roy daily!

Ed: NO I DON'T!

Roy: OH MY DEAR SWEET EDWARD!

Ed: SHUT UP! blasts Roy away with Alchemy

Voice: Edward Elric……loves Heid!

Ed: NO I DON'T!

Voice: Heid is his boyfriend!

Ed: NO HE ISN'T!

Voice: Yes he is.

Ed: NO!

Voice: YES!

Ed: NOOOOOOO!

Voice: Whateva. Edward Elric…..had sex with Al!

Ed: WHAT!

Voice: Edward Elric……collects milk bottles!

Ed: WHAAAAAAAAT!

Voice: Edward Elric……is obsessed with milk!

Ed: EEEEEEEEEEW!

Voice: Edward Elric…….. hates Winry, molested Roy, did it with Heid, and made out with Al!

Ed: WHAT THE F DID YOU SAY!

Voice: Edward Elric…….. Luuuuuuuuuuvs Jean Havoc!

Ed: WTF!

Voice: Edward Elric……….is so short he couldn't reach the top of his playpen till he was 15!

Ed: WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT!

Voice: Edward Elric………loves milk! He drinks it all the time!

Ed: NO I DON'T! I HATE MILK!

Voice: That's what they want you to think!

Ed: WHAT!

Voice: Edward Elric……loves Kagome!

Ed: WHO'S KAGOME!

InuYasha: HOW DARE YOU! attacks him with Tetsuiga KAGOME IS MINE!

Ed: TAKE 'ER! I DUN WANT HER!

InuYasha: OH, SO NOW YOU'RE SAYING SHE'S NOT GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU! BASTARD! attacks him with Wind Scar

Ed: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Voice: Edward Elric……….loves Roy!

Ed: NO I DON'T!

Voice: Edward Elric……is a jackass!

Ed: OKAY, THAT'S IT! transmutes spear

Voice: mock fear voice OOOOOOOH NOOOOOOOOO THE BIG BAD SHRIMP IS AFTER ME!

Ed: WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT DID YOU SAAAAAAY!

Voice: Edward Elric…….is a cannibal because he eats fellow shrimp!

Ed: WHAT THE HELL DID YOU SAY YOU BASTARD!

Voice: Edward Elric……..is about to get attacked by a sushi chef!

Ed: NO I'M-attacked by a sushi chef

Voice: Now you know Edward Elric!

Ed: NO THEY DON'T! DON'T LISTEN TO THIS VOICE! HE'S A LIAR! YO VOICE! YOU THERE! I WANNA KILL YOU! HELLO! GET BACK HERE!

Next up is Al! horror music plays


	2. Al

"Know your stars know your stars know your stars know your stars……."

Al: sits on stool Umm…hello?

Voice: Alphonse Elric………is really a girl!

Al: Say what!

Voice: Alphonse Elric……… is from a planet inhabited by tin cans!

Al: I'm NOT a tin can and I'm NOT from another planet! whimpers

Voice: Alphonse Elric………. is a softy!

Al: I'm not a softy…….depression vibes

Voice: Alphonse Elric……IS A CRYBABY!

Al: I'M NOT A CRYBABY! starts crying

Voice: OH NO DID I MAKE THE WIDDLE BABY CWY? (cry)

Al: flails

Voice: Alphonse Elric……loves Roy!

Al: No I don't!

Voice: Alphonse Elric…..loves nekos!

Al: YES, I DO! cuddles nekos

Voice: He wants to BE a neko so he can rape them without crushing them!

Al: WHAAAAAAAT!

Voice: Alphonse Elric……screws nekos!

Al: NO I DON'T!

Voice: Alphonse Elric……loves Heid! OH MY FUCKING GOD IT'S SELFCEST!

Al: WHAT?

Voice: Now you know Alphonse Elric!

Al: WHAT HE SAID IS NOT TRUE! HE LIES EVEN MORE THAN MY BROTHER!

Ed: AL! throws shoe at Al's head

Al: NII-SAN! starts crying

Next up, Winry. mwahhaahahahaha I already have an evil plan for her………


	3. Winry

**"Know your stars know your stars know your stars..."**

**Winry: sit's down Um, hi?**

**Voice: Winry Rockbell...is a whore!**

**Winry: I AM NOT!**

**Voice: Suuuuuure...Winry Rockbell...carries around a condom at all times, seeing as she's a whore and such!**

**Winry: I DO NOT! AND I'M NOT A WHORE!**

**Voice: Sinly Crockbell...**

**Winry: IT'S WINRY ROCKBELL!**

**Voice: Oh right. Ahem, Dimly Dumbbell...**

**Winry: WINRY ROCK BELL, WIN-RY ROCK-BELL!**

**Voice: Liar. Dimly Dumbbell raped Riza!**

**Winry: WHAT!**

**Roy: $!$?# THAT'S -MY- JOB!**

**Winry: BUT I DIDN'T!**

**Voice: Sure you didn't. Dimly Dumbbell...molested Al!**

**Winry: I DID NOT!**

**Al: Yes you did, and it still hurts! begins to cry**

**Winry: flushes from embarrassment**

**Voice: Now you know Dimly Dumbbell, she's a women raping, child molesting whore!**

**Winry: NONE OF THAT WAS TRUE!**

**Al: You DID molest me, bitch!**

**Winry: ...**

**OMG I'm so evil 8D Next up is Roy ZOMG….. 8D**


	4. Roy

**"Know Your stars know your stars know your stars..."**

**Roy: sits down If you make fun of me, I'll roast you...**

**Voice: Roy Mustang...fucked Ed!**

**Roy: And I loved it-I MEAN NO I DIDN'T!**

**Voice: Roy Mustang...was exspelled from Preschool because he kept raping everybody!**

**Roy: Oh those good old days...NO WAIT!**

**Voice: Roy Mustang...is obessed with boobs!**

**Roy: Ah those boobs on Riza...blissful sigh**

**Riza: WHAT? DIE YOU BASTARD!**

**shoots Roy**

**Roy: XX**

**Voice: Roy Mustang...is Ed's Mom's sister!**

**Roy: I'M A MAN!**

**Voice: Oh sure! Then explain this! photo floats down, on the photo, you see Roy's head on a naked girl's body**

**Roy: WTF? SLOANE MANIPULATED THAT ON THE COMPUTER!**

**Sloane (me): laughs evilly, throws on evil overlord cape, and runs off to manipulate more Photos in Photoshop 7**

**Roy: ...**

**Voice: Now you know Roy Mustang, a woman who thinks SHE'S a man!**

**Roy: I AM A MAN!**

**In the next chapter, our next victim-I mean GUEST is Riza! 8D**


	5. Riza

**"Know your stars know your stars know your stars..."**

**Riza: This better not be a trick...**

**Voice: Riza Hawkeye...is Burt Gummer in disguise! (fyi, Burt Gummer is a gun obsessed guy from a movie called Tremors)**

**Riza: WHO!**

**Voice: Riza Hawkeye...made out with her pistol!**

**Riza: making out with her pistol, then realizes everyone is watching NO I DIDN'T!**

**Voice: DON'T LISTEN TO HER EVERYBODY, SHE'S TRYING TO PLAY JEDI MIND TRICKS ON US!**

**Audiance: gasp**

**Riza: under her breath Damn, how did he know my secret?**

**Voice: Riza Asshole...**

**Riza: HAWKEYE!**

**Voice: Oh sorry, ahem, Hawkeye Asshole...**

**Riza: THAT'S WRONG!**

**Voice: Hawkeye Asshole...EEW SHE SMELLS OF FARTS!**

**Riza: GO FUCK ED!**

**Ed: Hey!**

**Voice: Okay!**

**Roy: NO, ED'S MINE!**

**Voice: Now you know Hawkeye Asshole, she's a fart scented fucker and gun obsessed jedi!**

**Riza: I AM NOT!**

Alrighty, next up is Pinako! ……..If you have any ideas for her, could ya include them in your review please? Thanks in advance!


	6. Pinako

WHEEEEE chapter six is finally here XD Sorry it took me so long to update, I had writers block, then after it went away I was obssesed with a video game called Tales of Symphonia and wanted to write stories on that XD I haven't posted any yet, but I will post something soon XD Why am I telling you this? XD I should just be getting to the story!

DISCLAIMER AND SUCH: I DON'T OWN FMA OR ANY OF THE OTHER SHOWS/GAMES/WHATEVER THAT I MAY MENTION IN THIS STORY.

"Know your stars know your stars know your stars know your stars..."

Pinako sat down in the chair and puffed her pipe.

"Pinako Rockbelle...has a really wierd shaped head!"

"I do not!"

"Yes you do. Pinako Rockbelle...I'm just gonna call you Pinbelle, m'kay? Pinbelle...hates cats!"

Al runs in.

"Auntie Pinbelle, how could you!" he cried as he grabbed her pipe and ground it up into dust in a rage.

"Eep! Angry Al! RUN!" Pinako started running around.

"RUN AUNTIE PINBELLE, RUN, RUN! RUUUUUUUUUUN!" the annoying voice laughed evilly.

"WINRY! HELP!" Pinako screeched, causing everyone's ears to bleed.

"AH! MY EARS! MY LITTLE DELICATE MOLESTING EARS!11111oneoneoneelveneleven" Winry screamed hitting Pinako over the head with a wrench.

"Molesting ears? O.o WTF?" Pinako asked her granddaughter or whatever the hell Winry's relation is to her.

"See?" Winry pointed to her ears, which were molesting the strands of hair along the side of her face.

"...OMFGMY-GRANDDAUGHTER-OR-WHATEVER-THE-HELL-RELATION-SHE-IS-TO-MEISANALIEN!"

"Well Pinbelle, that would mean that YOU'RE an alien too!" the voice said with eerie music playing.

"I'm not!"

"Are so."

"Not!"

"So."

"NOT NOW JUST KEEP THE SHOW RUNNING SO I WON'T BE LATE FOR MY DATE!"

"Date with the Grim Reaper? How lucky you are! I'll reserve a room at "Horrors-and-Whores-R-Us"!

"SHUT UP!"

"Pinbelle...is a belly dancer!"

"Yes I am!" She then puts on belly dancer clothes...I'm not even gonna describe how horrible the mental image I'm getting is.

"EEEEWWWWWWWWWWWW!" everyone cried as they looked at her...ugly...stomach.

"Humph. Youngins these days just don't appriciate true beauty."

"Now you know Pinbelle...the fricking ugly belly dancer with a wierd head shape! HELP! SOMEONE GET ME A BUCKET, I'M GONNA BLOW!"

"Damn voice..."

((Okay, that was lame I'm sure, but I'm really out of ideas for this, I just didn't want to disapoint the reviewers who wanted me to continue. Well, our next victim-I mean GUEST is Heiderich...if you have any ideas PLEASE tell me, I just can't think of anything for this...damn Tales of Symphonia for being the only thing I can think of story ideas for XD Well, please review! Bye!))


	7. Heid

Whee! Hi guys! I'm finally updating this! XD Here's chapter 7! Just so you know, there are a lot of references to Tales of Symphonia in this, so there might be some things that you might not understand too well if you haven't played the game. And also...I have nothing against people who bleach their hair, ok? I just thought his hair looked unnaturally light so...yeah...

DISCLAIMER: I do not own "Know Your Stars", "FullMetal Alchemist", "Tales of Symphonia", Norse mythology, or anything like that, k? Got it? Ya do, right? Good! 8D Now, let us begin.

"Know your stars know your stars know your stars..."

Alphonse Heiderich walks in and sits down.

"Alphonse Heiderich...bleaches his hair!"

"LE GASP! HOW DID YOU FIND OUT!" Heiderich cried clutching that EXTREMELY light hair of his.

"Alphonse Heiderich...is in love with his alter-self!"

"What! I am not!" he exclaimed while hiding a picture of himself making out with his alter-self.

"Alphonse Heiderich...loves Colette from Tales of Symphonia!"

"But you just said..."

At that very instant, Lloyd from Tales of Symphonia ran in.

"COLETTE IS MINE YOU HAIR-BLEACHING, ELRIC-CEST BOOGER PICKER!" Lloyd yelled as he started stabbing Heid with the Eternal Sword.

"HEY! HOW DID YOU KNOW ABOUT MY BAD HABIT!" Heid exclaimed as the sword kept slicing him and yet there he was, still alive.

Colette runs in.

"Please Lloyd, stop! Let ME handle this!" Colette said as she took out her Chakram and started throwing it at Heid.

"Heiderich...is Lloyd's sister!"

"But I'm a guy!"

"That's what YOU think. Heiderich...was seen stealing tooth brushes!"

"BUTBUTBUT...I NEED THEM FOR MY PRECIOUS TEETH!"

"Heiderich...is MITHOS in disguise!"

"CURSES!" Heiderich yelled as he turned into Mithos.

"ZOMG GUYS, IT IS ZE MITHOS YGGDRASILL! DID YOU KNOW THAT HIS LAST NAME WAS THE NAME OF A TREE IN NORSE MYTHOLOGY HERE ON OUR PLANET? AND DID YOU KNOW THAT THE YMIR FOREST WAS NAMED AFTER A GIANT FROM NORSE MYTHOLOGY? AND DID YOU KNOW--"

"SHUT UP! YOU JUST RUINED MY REPUTATION **AND **MY DISGUISE! I HATE YOU!" Mithos yelled sprouting his wings.

Just then the REAL Heiderich came in eating popcorn.

"Hey, wazzup guys?" he asked as he sat down on the bleechers.

"HEY! YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO BE HERE FOR YOUR TURN!" the evil voice said grabbing him with an invisible hand and shoving him onto the little chair of doom after throwing Mithos over a cliff. Unfortunatly, Mithos flew up and laughed evily as he sat in the audience.

"Heid...is from da moon!"

"I am? Wow! I'm an alien!"

"Um...Heid...everything that was said to Mithos is actually true for Heid!"

"YEAH, THAT'S RIGHT! GO ME, GO ME!" Heid cheered himself as he got up and started dancing. And thus he got beaten up by Lloyd and Colette just as Mithos had when he was in his disguise.

"And now you know Heid! He's a booger-picking, hair bleaching nutcase!"

"Yeah! GO ME, I RULE, 'CUZ I'M A NUTCASE!" Heid said dancing.

"Um...see ya...man, this guy is wierd..."

The end of chapter 7.

Please review! xD Also...if you have any suggestions on who to torment next PLEASE tell me in your review. No flames wanted please...only constructive critique. See ya later! xD


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